Love Is An Orientation by Andrew Marin: A Review
I have wanted to review this book for months but find it nearly impossible to organize my thoughts into a coherent review. Don’t get me wrong. I love this book and wholeheartedly applaud Andrew Marin’s bridge-building work between Christian and gay communities.
I first became aware of the book from a review at Internetmonk.com. After reading Love Is An Orientation I immediately bought five additional copies to give away. So, you see, while I struggle to write a review it has nothing to do with the content.
My problem, I find it difficult to write about this topic without my own emotions churning out of control.
I can’t discuss this book without my thoughts turning to a young family friend who practically lived at out house his senior year of high school. I didn’t know what was going on in his family, and didn’t pry. His only comment was that our house was quiet.
Years later this young man and his roommates were moving to a new apartment. I was helping them get the old place cleaned out. While the others took a load of furniture to the new apartment, he and I stayed behind to clean out the refrigerator. In the stillness of that empty apartment he told me everything. At 16 his parents found out that he was gay. They thought they could beat him into going straight.
He told me the whole story and the pain in my heart was unbearable. The next day, back home, I spent the entire day crying. How could parents do this to their own! Why?
Before that day, I would have said this really wasn’t my issue. After that day, after I cried until my eyes ached, I really didn’t have a choice. This cruelty must stop. We are also culpable by our silence. Do you know what compassion is, the compassion that Christ taught? It begins by looking at people as HUMAN! None of us are merely our sexuality.
Too often we look for one identifiable trait to label each person we encounter: The fat girl. The computer geek. The drunk. The great singer. The girl with a criminal record. The woman with the funny accent. That guy obsessed with politics. The boy with the really cool car. The annoying Christian. The man in the wheelchair. The gay guy. Once labeled it becomes so easy to file away in mental boxes marked Good and Bad or Desirable and Undesirable. Now, no longer diverse individuals with successes and failures, a past a future, emotions, aspirations, impulses and fragilities, we needn’t consider how much we may have in common. Once condemned or elevated by our labels, we may trample underfoot or place high up on pedestals. The labels make them, thems – maybe worse than us or better than us, but no way could they be us. And this, my friends, leaves no room for compassion.
Just as I suspected, I veered pretty far from the book I intended to review. But since some of you have also read Andrew Marin’s book, perhaps you will have more to say.
This is a close as I can get to a review:
If you are a parent and your son or daughter have just come out to you, or if you are a pastor and a member of your congregation wants to talk about same-sex attractions. If you are a teacher, friend, sibling, co-worker, neighbor, I beg you to read this book before you walk away and slam the door on this treasured individual.
Yikes! I don’t know why the Amazon tags won’t work here. Works fine on Garden-Florida. Have to go out now but will try to figure it out later.
Hey Sarah,
I understand this being too emotional to write a standard review. You know about the damage that has been done to young people.
Thank you for sharing the book with me last summer. Very helpful while working with our youth group.
One thing I noticed. Talking about specific Bible verses he reminds us to put them in context of the message of the whole Bible and of the book and chapter.
Then at another place in the book Marin reminds us that calling a person homosexual is identifying them only with sexuality, which ignores every other thing that make them human.
He’s saying the same thing in both places Look at the whole, not at the part. This is an important message.
This is the thing I don’t get about parents turning on their gay kids. This is who the kid is. My son never exactly came out to me. I kinda knew and he kinda knew that that I knew. He’s a grown man. He has his life. He’s still the same kid inside that I raised.
Our problem was more with the old church where we used to go. Those people were so judgmental. Sarah told him about MCC and sent that link to understanding churches. But he doesn’t really believe they will accept him.
This is the link to welcoming churches in Florida
http://www.gaychurch.org/Find_a_Church/united_states/us_florida.htm
The churches on this link say progressive Christian. What does that mean? Is this about politics or Christianity?
We don’t need to be talking about any brand of allegiance to Cesar inside God’s house.
I would walk out of any church service that included politics, any politics.
I only have experience visiting one MCC church. They don’t talk about politics. The closest I’ve heard was before last year’s election discussing Florida’s Amendment 2. I didn’t have a problem with that since this is an issue that directly affected members of the congregation.
The services are much like services at nondenominational services I’ve attended. The message is geared toward people who may be new to church or have been away for a long time.
I am really impressed with the community outreach at this MCC church. They are feeding a lot of people and addressing many needs in the community.
“We don’t need to be talking about any brand of allegiance to Cesar inside God’s house.”
Agreed, Absolutely!!!